"Blaming her keeps us stuck in childhood," So very true, especially when we fail to look at her as a person. I didn't finally get it, until I made myself look back at myself at age 20. I was a newly wed, with no kids. On the other hand, my mother at that age had been married for 5 years, had 5 kids and one mis -carraige. Needless to say, that helped me put things in perspective. :-)