" I can’t get it out of my head that next year he may be dead." Caroline my dear. This is not to make light of your husband's illness or suggest your concern and worry isn't real and understandable. But the truth of the matter truly is, YOU could be dead by this time next year also. With the world we currently live in, all the tomorrows that were never promised to anyone, anyway, are now even more uncertain. Do what you possibly can, to not allow yourself to be consumed with the very fear that brings you that much closer to poor health yourself. Live for the day, both of you, and just keep laughing together for now...:-)