"I have to build a community in the publications I want to send to and be successful in." Hi Doc. While I agree with this statement about building community, I think you're putting too much emphasis on your reliance on publications. If you actually get to the real root of the problem, your stories could probably do better, even if self published. Personally, I'd look closer at the titles and subtitles, since that's the reader's first point of contact, whether the story is self published or in a publication. Right now, I have to ponder the titles too long and hard to determine what, if any value I'll personally get from the stories. Maybe you could make the value of the content jump up and slap the reader in the face, with the way you word your titles AND subtitles (which should not be treated as an afterthought). I'm no expert, but I hope some of this helps :-)