"My visit there reminds me to appreciate being here and to live life to my fullest." This is definitely some sage advice for us all. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, but I"m glad you got the chance to say goodbye. I know how important that is, especially since that was how I had to say goodbye to my mom last year when she died during Covid. I really love the grace that some people show during these times, like how Carol didn't want to weigh you down by letting you know the true purpose behind the call, and she just allowed you to be the friend she knew and loved, and talk or chatter like normal. You may regret that, but I bet she didn't :-)