"Quit the self-absorbed nonsense." This is so crucial to not only getting views and visitors who stick around to read, but also to them returning to read something else. If your story doesn't: Inform, inspire, entertain, or motivate a reader, than there's no real value in it for them. It doesn't have to fulfill all those elements, but at least one. The king can be a picky S.O.B, so don't try to slip just any old thing past him :-)